she threw out all the happy endings.

When I get stuck on a story I tend to start neurotically outlining. This is a glimpse at my notebook (which I'm messing around with instead of working but we'll just ignore that). And yes the posted notes are actually covering up even more crap.

IDK when this picture is from but I don't care, it's officially my fav Merlin cast photo. I just want to mish them all and their adorableness.




in creative news, I'm working on my merlin20in20 icons for the months (challenging myself by doing Gwen & Morgana who you know, I think are adorable, but not who I usually focus on, ie not Colin). outlined my next love_bingo story but havent begun the actual writing process because... I like the idea, I do, and I think it deals with a subject that for myself I would like to address (namely Uhura and her relationship with reboot!Spock) but at the same time I feel completely overwhelmed just thinking about trying to write Uhura.

Language, foreign language, is something I struggle with IRL. It's one of my very very irritating and inescapably lazy Americanisms. I did not learn a second language growing up and only took the bare req's for foreign language in HS. In HS I had to study Spanish because it was the only thing offered (I personally wanted to study French or Arabic). I was motivated, because I feel like my inability to speak anything besides English is a rather terrible ethnocentric failing. But I have a terrible ear for it and an even more useless tongue. I did try and take first quarter spanish in community college and struggled to get a good grade. My professor very laughingly told me that I would always sound like a really really obvious gringo. I'm surrounded by white people, who only speak English. I'm not really exposed to anything else. ever. (ok, not true, I do hear lots of Asian dialects floating around but I have an even slimmer chance of understand them >.>).

And I just-- the thought of trying to write from the perspective of a linguist really terrifies me. But at the same time this story, it could eat a piece of my heart if I let it because to me it feels important, something tiny and significant and meaningful to this character.

Wow, verbal vomit. wasn't actually expecting to say all of that but its true. I just need to address these insecurities and jump in and say fuck and write this story anyways. *determined face*

Well, so friday i said "Screw you crutches!" and wrapped my ankle and hobbled off to school. luckily lots of people seemed to be skipping sundry 8am classes so i got a better parking spot (marginally, only halfway up the hill vs the top and back a row ;)) and got to both classes and got my midterm from my Oceanography class lab i missed this week (thank GOODNESS) and hobbled off to work where i did resort to sitting down a couple times but it was all good and i made considerably better tips than i have been making so it was definitely worth working (also, Cuz gave me her key since today is her last day so *I finally have a key*!)

now it's saturday. hrmm. i have bits of hw i need to do :

( Re: Cut for short weekend to-do list )

I also have bits of creative stuff i'd like to work on. I feel like i might have enough banging around in the back of my head to write another installment of the Mara!McShep au collision, i have the teensy bit of a DW/SGA fusion i want to try my hand at (and which will no doubt turn into a longish monstrous thing i'll have lots of difficulty finishing *sigh*), and i have another AUs collide John Sheppard idea (shut up, Vegas hit me hard. i have yet to move away from it, i need to work through my grief, like a twelve step program) AND i have a gessoed canvas starring at me from across the room begging to be painted to Death Cab for Cutie or Imogen Heap.


HMMMMM


Plus, my sister and I are supposed to go grab coffee at some point. hrm

it seems like LJ gets so quiet on the weekend *pokes*

I've recently struck up a dialogue with an old friend. and by old, i mean someone i was friends with freshman yr but havent really spoken to in the past yr. we had creative writing together and we always had something literary to talk about.

I went to Borders recently, i mentioned that in an earlier post, and bought a L'Engle book because i loved her books when i was younger and it seemed one of the more worthwhile things at the store. At the library, i took a quick browse thru the teen section and checked out a Pendragon book (#3 i think) because i remembered them being quite often on the NYT's bestseller lists and a Jane Yolen book about Mary Queen of Scots. I'm trying to get m hands on a copy of a Gail Carson Levine book too (i loved Ella and Two Princesses when they came out). If these books are at all good like they've been touted, i feel that the simple, pretty covers and entertaining stories could be wholesome.

I've furthermore been doing some reading into the young adult market, along the lines of the more fantastical, not sword and sorcery post-Harry Potter tripe but stuff like L'Engle and i find it all very inspiring. at least somewhat more so than the adult fantasy market which seems jam packed with the same sort of stuff.

I've started writing. its an old story i'm taking a new approach at. i think this will be attempt number three. i really want to write this summer. read and write and hopefully sell stuff on ebay.

Ebay news, no bids so far but my friend tells me to be patient. i have a few more things i need to list and i desperately need to go thru my closet because i have a ton of stuff with the tags still on that i really should at least try to sell.

i still need a job.

summer quarter starts in a week.