Apr. 1st, 2011

winter_rogue: (Default)
IDK when this picture is from but I don't care, it's officially my fav Merlin cast photo. I just want to mish them all and their adorableness.

in creative news, I'm working on my [livejournal.com profile] merlin20in20 icons for the months (challenging myself by doing Gwen & Morgana who you know, I think are adorable, but not who I usually focus on, ie not Colin). outlined my next [livejournal.com profile] love_bingo story but havent begun the actual writing process because... I like the idea, I do, and I think it deals with a subject that for myself I would like to address (namely Uhura and her relationship with reboot!Spock) but at the same time I feel completely overwhelmed just thinking about trying to write Uhura.

Language, foreign language, is something I struggle with IRL. It's one of my very very irritating and inescapably lazy Americanisms. I did not learn a second language growing up and only took the bare req's for foreign language in HS. In HS I had to study Spanish because it was the only thing offered (I personally wanted to study French or Arabic). I was motivated, because I feel like my inability to speak anything besides English is a rather terrible ethnocentric failing. But I have a terrible ear for it and an even more useless tongue. I did try and take first quarter spanish in community college and struggled to get a good grade. My professor very laughingly told me that I would always sound like a really really obvious gringo. I'm surrounded by white people, who only speak English. I'm not really exposed to anything else. ever. (ok, not true, I do hear lots of Asian dialects floating around but I have an even slimmer chance of understand them >.>).

And I just-- the thought of trying to write from the perspective of a linguist really terrifies me. But at the same time this story, it could eat a piece of my heart if I let it because to me it feels important, something tiny and significant and meaningful to this character.

Wow, verbal vomit. wasn't actually expecting to say all of that but its true. I just need to address these insecurities and jump in and say fuck and write this story anyways. *determined face*


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