pedicure

[winter_rogue]

so, i went and got the pedicure with the sis..they look cute (neon green *hee* i couldnt resist) and my feet are all non-calousy but i swear i'm never going to get something like that again. why? because i'm sitting there and i'm silently observing worker/customer interactions etc etc (which is what i always do in public) and i almost wanted to cry because this scene from Dune comes to my mind of the bowls of water used to wash the hands of the rich being kept and then given out to the poor after the meal. i know that not all people are going into these beauty salons with this idea in mind but in so many ways (to many for me to ever be comfortable) its simply another way for people with "money" to have to exert power over servants. we may not have sefs anymore but its a way for these people to get an unconscious or maybe not so unconscious jolly and it made me sick.

maybe i'm reacting so strongly because i've always believed that if its something important i will find a way to do it. period. when i'm sick? i continue to cook for myself etc, tough jar lids? i grab a towel or a knife or *something* a fucking pry the thing off. you get the picture, i take care of myself and i dont like people going out of their way to wait on me hand and foot (unless they're doing it for some special occasion and tell me beforehand and even then i still end up trying to do something and aggravating the person *lol*) i like guys who are polite, who hold open doors and let you go first but i'm not weak, there really is not need for one to carry *all* my books or what have you.

but back to my story, there was a woman in there who was working and pregnant and expecting at the end of the month and i couldnt believe it because i know how irritably and what a shrinking flower the sis has been and SHE DOES NOT WORK. the bro brings home the bacon in their house because the sis does not enjoy working. but this woman, who barely speaks english, is plugging away at the callusus on my heel and i wanted to cry and all i could do was make sure she got a large tip.

why is humanity such a monster? *tugs at hair* i think part of whats brought this on is that we discussed My Last Duchess in class today and lately i've just been really..i dunno, more cynical and less at the same time and i just keep coming back to Lennon's song Immagine and wishing that that could be true.

and Shane and I had to explain how men might use vasaline on each other to a friend (sheltered, and when i say sheltered i mean, i dunno how in the hell you havent been raped/mugged/attacked in some manner before now sort of way) today.

how do these pieces of a puzzle coexist? i dont understand humanity. i just want to live in the same city as Britt, have a little flat, drink espresso, write, read and travel. and learn. but the world doesnt want these things and they seem so hopeless....

i'm going to go work on an Illyria wallpaper.

Comments

[dinkylorenzo.livejournal.com]

hey, im a member of blend_it and i noticed your recent entry in the natalie portman challenge, its awesome by the way, but i was wondering where you got the brushes you used in it from, if you dont mind sharing...thanks!...

[winter-rogue.livejournal.com]

i've been using all hand made things just about exclusively since December '04--in other words, stuff that i hand draw with the pen tool or brushes i've made using just the default brushes that came with PS and a few default filters.

i'm afraid none of them are up for dl anywhere because the site hosting my portfolio closed about a month ago.

[dinkylorenzo.livejournal.com]

ah, i see, thanks anyway...