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winter_roguewell, i've had an interesting day. i made a really tough decision. the details of which i'm not going to go into. however if you're interested in reading how i feel, i wrote them all up...
Its strange sometimes, how quickly life can throw you a curve ball. One moment your happy, easy existence is going along, just as it has year after year. The next moment you find yourself in a maelstrom of emotions, desperately seeking answers amongst the torrent of thoughts and feelings swirling around with little pattern to them. It happens, all at once, something so totally unexpected you are completely thrown for a loop. One moment you’re telling a friend you can’t make it, the next you’re sobbing your heart out and you just don’t understand why. You can realize just how badly you needed it, not just to cry, but to get out.
Today I have made a decision which is drastically going to change my life. I have deviated from the course my ships been sailing for some time now, deciding this isn’t they way I want to travel any longer. I’m not talking about suicide or a divorce; I’m simply talking about what I want to do with my life. I still love what I do, I always will, but what started out as something to do because I wanted to be a part of it any way I knew how has developed into something I felt more of as a chore; and that’s not how its supposed to be.
A dear friend is finally being given her chance at this and I feel that, as I no longer will myself opening be involved, I will now endeavor to support her in any and all ways that I can, making her my link to this. It’s what I need… it’s what I have to do.
I’ll admit that my life hasn’t been an overly hard one, dotted with experiences of struggle and hardship. My parents have never forced me to do anything I didn’t want to do, and in fact have done everything they can to support my dreams and make them become a reality. This is something I will always be eternally grateful for. But now I find myself needing desperately to move on… so I will.
We grow, we change, and the way in which we live our lives has to evolve with us. But as I find myself uncontrollably sobbing over the decision I make now, over what I’m letting go, I think back. I wonder when it started. When did I stop enjoying it? When did it become a chore? In retrospect, I think that perhaps it’s like a sore that’s been festering for some time; gradually becoming worse, deepening until I just couldn’t stand the pain any longer. But still, it’s a sore I wasn’t truly aware of until recently, when I couldn’t help but pick at it now and again.
But as I said, people change. We learn how to stick on band aids and heal wounds. I have no doubt that I will be able to move on, go and do other things. Put countless amounts of times and energy into new projects, and I’ll be happy, I know me.
There’s a time for everything and everything in its time.
Liz Montrose
now, i'll admit i'm simply exhausted but i talked with B. and she encouraged me to open a Labyrinth fanfiction awards site, since 1) there arnt a whole lot of them out there and 2) the ones that are, havent been updated in months, some even years.
anyway, i'm going to go site building, then host searching (if anyone's interested please please please contact me!) but before i go, thought this was interesting...
gacked from marishna
Its strange sometimes, how quickly life can throw you a curve ball. One moment your happy, easy existence is going along, just as it has year after year. The next moment you find yourself in a maelstrom of emotions, desperately seeking answers amongst the torrent of thoughts and feelings swirling around with little pattern to them. It happens, all at once, something so totally unexpected you are completely thrown for a loop. One moment you’re telling a friend you can’t make it, the next you’re sobbing your heart out and you just don’t understand why. You can realize just how badly you needed it, not just to cry, but to get out.
Today I have made a decision which is drastically going to change my life. I have deviated from the course my ships been sailing for some time now, deciding this isn’t they way I want to travel any longer. I’m not talking about suicide or a divorce; I’m simply talking about what I want to do with my life. I still love what I do, I always will, but what started out as something to do because I wanted to be a part of it any way I knew how has developed into something I felt more of as a chore; and that’s not how its supposed to be.
A dear friend is finally being given her chance at this and I feel that, as I no longer will myself opening be involved, I will now endeavor to support her in any and all ways that I can, making her my link to this. It’s what I need… it’s what I have to do.
I’ll admit that my life hasn’t been an overly hard one, dotted with experiences of struggle and hardship. My parents have never forced me to do anything I didn’t want to do, and in fact have done everything they can to support my dreams and make them become a reality. This is something I will always be eternally grateful for. But now I find myself needing desperately to move on… so I will.
We grow, we change, and the way in which we live our lives has to evolve with us. But as I find myself uncontrollably sobbing over the decision I make now, over what I’m letting go, I think back. I wonder when it started. When did I stop enjoying it? When did it become a chore? In retrospect, I think that perhaps it’s like a sore that’s been festering for some time; gradually becoming worse, deepening until I just couldn’t stand the pain any longer. But still, it’s a sore I wasn’t truly aware of until recently, when I couldn’t help but pick at it now and again.
But as I said, people change. We learn how to stick on band aids and heal wounds. I have no doubt that I will be able to move on, go and do other things. Put countless amounts of times and energy into new projects, and I’ll be happy, I know me.
There’s a time for everything and everything in its time.
Liz Montrose
now, i'll admit i'm simply exhausted but i talked with B. and she encouraged me to open a Labyrinth fanfiction awards site, since 1) there arnt a whole lot of them out there and 2) the ones that are, havent been updated in months, some even years.
anyway, i'm going to go site building, then host searching (if anyone's interested please please please contact me!) but before i go, thought this was interesting...
gacked from marishna
