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piteous rant--go ahead and ignore
Sep. 11th, 2004 11:55 ambloody fucking hell. i.do.not.like.math.
period.
so, why am i taking the advanced courses? because i always have to fucking push myself whether i like the subject or not. first weeks over and i have C. i do not understand 1/2 of what we're doing and the professor sucks at teaching.
i am literally on the edge of either 1)throwing my book across the room and breaking something or 2) just breaking down and crying.
i am going to fail my first course ever--and damnit i'm crying now. i cant take this, 2 hours of math work everynight and then getting B's and C's is not supposed to happen to me. i have 2 friends taking the class but we each have it at different times and with very different scheduals and we live no where near each other so...its just not easy to get together and work together.
fuck. math is not my subject and i simply cannot do this. but i cant just quit because then i'l be the one who quit, ya know? fuck.
i've never overly enjoyed school but i've never hated it so much i'd just rather fade away so i wouldnt ever have to go back. this is how it is.
i've barely eaten all week, i've barely slept, i can barely stand to look at a computer i'm so fucking tired all the time, i cant even think. a year ago i stopped riding/training horses because i came very close to a breakdown because of the work and stress involved along with my class load and this year is so far beyond that i--i have no words. they've all been stripped from me until i'm just this empty little shell who cannot do her math.
*goes to look for tissue*
period.
so, why am i taking the advanced courses? because i always have to fucking push myself whether i like the subject or not. first weeks over and i have C. i do not understand 1/2 of what we're doing and the professor sucks at teaching.
i am literally on the edge of either 1)throwing my book across the room and breaking something or 2) just breaking down and crying.
i am going to fail my first course ever--and damnit i'm crying now. i cant take this, 2 hours of math work everynight and then getting B's and C's is not supposed to happen to me. i have 2 friends taking the class but we each have it at different times and with very different scheduals and we live no where near each other so...its just not easy to get together and work together.
fuck. math is not my subject and i simply cannot do this. but i cant just quit because then i'l be the one who quit, ya know? fuck.
i've never overly enjoyed school but i've never hated it so much i'd just rather fade away so i wouldnt ever have to go back. this is how it is.
i've barely eaten all week, i've barely slept, i can barely stand to look at a computer i'm so fucking tired all the time, i cant even think. a year ago i stopped riding/training horses because i came very close to a breakdown because of the work and stress involved along with my class load and this year is so far beyond that i--i have no words. they've all been stripped from me until i'm just this empty little shell who cannot do her math.
*goes to look for tissue*
