Crossposting a bit of fic I wrote earlier this week because even with the AO3, I tend to lose stuff I've written if I don't crosspost it to my journal as well and then down the road I'm all /o\

Ne Me Quitte Pas
Rated: Teen/General Audience
Pairing: Clint/Coulson
Fandom: The Avengers (MCU)
Summary: This is the second most significant moment of Clint Barton's life.

On the Archive
or
( read on dreamwidth or livejournal )

When I get stuck on a story I tend to start neurotically outlining. This is a glimpse at my notebook (which I'm messing around with instead of working but we'll just ignore that). And yes the posted notes are actually covering up even more crap.

This is a test of crossposting from DW.

In light of yet more sorta-douchey moves by LJ and their continuing to ignore an outraged user base I'm trying out posting directly from DW because I think moving forward they are who I want to support. 2011 seems to have been the "Year to Walk All Over Your Userbase" and I for one am getting really fucking sick and tired of it.

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(btws, anyone reading this who has fandom community links on DW that they'd like to share, ie kink memes and such, feel free. Current fandoms I'm in are: Inception, STXI, Merlin, Sherlock BBC, XMFC, Suits, Avengers)

Regarding the recent blogposts concerning drinking and rape -

"Jessica Wakeman at The Frisky 'bravely' ventured that maybe us laydeez really do need lecturing about 'how taking more drugs or drinking more booze than you can handle is stupid.'"

(Quote taken from feministe, read the full article here: http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2011/12/16/girl-on-girl-victim-blaming-action-or-the-most-terrible-time-of-the-year/ )

First and foremost this statement is wrong because it is still VICTIM BLAMING.

Would you ever tell a man not to drink because it leaves him vulnerable to being raped? No? Because you do not define his existence as a human being as an object to be raped.This double standard that requires women to be constantly vigilant, putting the responsiblity and the blame on their shoulders, not only continues to perpetuate the victim-blame-game but highlights what is WRONG with socialized standards of thought.

By existing a woman is not asking to be raped. That's a choice on the part of the rapists. Rape happens because rapists rape, there is no consent involved, the rapist is not interested in consent. That anyone is going to disparage a victim because they werent able to fight back in a situation where THEY NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAD TO FIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE, is deplorable.

And here's the point, women shouldn't have to be constantly vigilant. We shouldn't have to live in fear of being raped and assaulted and used. We shouldn't have to curb our behavior anymore than any man has to. We only have to be wary and fearful and constantly on our guard because there is something BROKEN and wrong with male patterns of thought; with this insidious, persistent idea that a woman by the simple act of breathing, is first and foremost, something to be fucked.

You want to know why chivalry is bullshit? There shouldn't be a need for protection in the first place.

This is not consent - June Jordan

Recapping november and writing since the end of NaNoWriMo....

Well, I hit 12k for my nano novel. Not great but it's still a pretty significant amount of writing to accomplish (for me). It averages out to like 4k/week but really I think I was doing more like 7k/week for the last two weeks which is not too shabby.

Since then I've been giving myself a tiny brain break by writing a fairly serious take on a crack Inception Kink Meme prompt. It's good. I started it about two weeks ago and have a little over 8k written. Not too shabby at all considering it was the last week of instruction + dead week (ie study for finals week) + FINALS this week. Am going to try to write 1.2k on it today and hit around the 9.5k mark if everything goes according to plan. I'm confident the entire fill should reach 15k possibly 17k. After that I need to write a couple short fills for Angst_Bingo since I REALLY want to write a blackout for that this round and April is the deadline (I think that means 25 fills at a minimum of 500 words/fill but knowing me they'll all be closet to 700-1500/fill)


Am looking at possibly being expelled from school. I'm basically 100% certain I'm going to fail one of my classes and theres a cap on how many classes you can drop in the course of your ENTIRE academic career which I used up last yr. What kind of policy is that? Ugh. So I'm going to get an F and I'm feeling pretty worried that this will lower by gpa too much. In the event of possibly expulsion though my plan is to finish my AA via online classes with SPS and get a job and save up enough money to go to film school.

Screwed my courage to the sticking place and started answering a prompt on the Inception Kink Meme. This is Day 4 working on it and I just hit 5k which (for me) is just... I'm flabbergasted. I estimate there might be another 10k left to write, depending on how involved the eventual sex gets (I dont write it very often but I feel its going to be fairly important to this story emotionally).

it's all very exciting and nerve wracking but exciting XD

I finished nanowrimo @ a measly 12k but again for me and my super slow writing habits I am satisfied. Next up after i've finished this story for the kink meme will be to dive headfirst into angst_bingo. I've got a few difficult prompts i'm not sure what to do but i'm going to stay optimistic.

In other news, I am absolutely and completely in love with Spotify. It runs so much more smoothly on my mac than Pandora has (since they redesigned) and I love being able to sit for a couple hrs and just work through the entire catalog including remixes of my favourite artists.

Holy fandom shitstorm. I apparently don't actively follow any of the people involved in OTW and the current kerfuffle going on so it's only just come to my attention. Trying to slog through some of various posts on both sides and feeling very confused about:

a) what are these issues that people have with the new rollout? I havent really poked around it since it went up so my opinion thus far is meh with a side order of 'I'll get used to it /shrug'

b) what is the exact conflict between the board and the president?

closing thoughts: omg this is fandom, this is a volunteer not for profit organization, this isn't the government, this isn't politics, why is this happening?

ETA to add: I have a deep and complex loathing of politics, american politics in general. I think it's divisive and annoying and the more I hear politicians speak the more I loath them. When did fandom (on both sides) start mimicking politics? Reading through pages and pages of commentary, discussion, wank and legitimately hurt feelings I find myself saying, Good Lord, if I wanted to deal with this sort of organization scandal, politics, rhetoric I would be watching the GOP Debates --which I will not do beyond pertinent news bites-- I'm in fandom to avoid all this mainstream bullshit, a little slice of academic escapism. This is a free, volunteer based organization/services. That being said

I'm sure the people on the board approach their positions with certain goals and agendas in mind. These may or may not run perfectly parallel to your own goals/agendas. I'm really wondering where in the course of the resent AO3 site update people were suddenly cut out? Like did they suddenly get rid of NC-17 ratings (ohh ff.net)? Did they suddenly cut out entire types of fandoms? Did they suddenly put moratoriums on pairings or genres or kinks? I feel like to some extent this is 'higher ups' stepping on each others toes and then getting everyone else involved when really I'm just happy with a comprehensive and inclusive archive that functions in it's most basic function to post and search for fanworks.

Admittedly I come at this from a western fandom perspective so I can't speak to the issues arising for fans in other parts of the world but at the same time, projects on this scale can only do so much without more help.

TEAM BUFFY WON THE APOCALYPSE WOOOO!



whedonland

So I ended up stuck sitting on the floor in a major hallway waiting for my afternoon CJ class (its an old terrible building with extremely limited seating and power plugs /wrists) and so I was at the perfect eye level to observe dozens of people walking by.

Am I the only person struck by the strangeness of the shaved leg phenomenon? It's.... not actually at all a natural state for the most part and on such condensed display I found it fascinating and bizarre.

Perhaps I should explain that I go to a college populated by 90% disgustingly fit and active people. So when I say 70-90% of the women i've seen are wearing daisy dukes and tanning bed tanned skin, I'm literally not exaggerating. so i've observed a fuckton of bare leg today, all flawlessly, unnaturally smooth (and fake-tanned).

I don't really have any conclusions to draw from this I just found it... jarring. I myself shave once every two weeks if i remember to do it, carry 40lbs more than I should, am pretty damn pale and definitely do not wear daisy dukes (when i was fit and thinner back in HS I didnt wear shorts either because I think theyre horribly uncomfortable the way they ride and bunch just ugh, i'd rather wear a short dress and converse). it's not so much about feeling like an outsider, because i've always felt like an anthropologist observing the strange and vapid creature that is my fellow student body here at WSU, its just a fascinating visual comparison highlighting how very strange i am here.

So we've got a vid challenge going on at whedonland and i have the song and rough idea worked out for it (and seasons 6&7 of buffy now on my laptop in avi format) but after cutting a few scenes i feel totally and completely overwhelmed at the sheer SCOPE of compiling a tightly edited and compelling video. the whole thing just seems SO MUCH more intensive than a piece of art where I can dive in with a dozen pics and cut and color and enhance and blend until it boils down to maybe half a dozen key ingredients and voila. IDEK

I would feel utterly stupid if I had this relatively good idea for a vid and all the software and then DIDNT follow through for the points (lovely lovely points) especially when I've whimped out on participating in any of the writing challenges thus far. So here I am pissing and moaning trying to psych myself out to work on it lol