winter_rogue: (anna)
So I ended up stuck sitting on the floor in a major hallway waiting for my afternoon CJ class (its an old terrible building with extremely limited seating and power plugs /wrists) and so I was at the perfect eye level to observe dozens of people walking by.

Am I the only person struck by the strangeness of the shaved leg phenomenon? It's.... not actually at all a natural state for the most part and on such condensed display I found it fascinating and bizarre.

Perhaps I should explain that I go to a college populated by 90% disgustingly fit and active people. So when I say 70-90% of the women i've seen are wearing daisy dukes and tanning bed tanned skin, I'm literally not exaggerating. so i've observed a fuckton of bare leg today, all flawlessly, unnaturally smooth (and fake-tanned).

I don't really have any conclusions to draw from this I just found it... jarring. I myself shave once every two weeks if i remember to do it, carry 40lbs more than I should, am pretty damn pale and definitely do not wear daisy dukes (when i was fit and thinner back in HS I didnt wear shorts either because I think theyre horribly uncomfortable the way they ride and bunch just ugh, i'd rather wear a short dress and converse). it's not so much about feeling like an outsider, because i've always felt like an anthropologist observing the strange and vapid creature that is my fellow student body here at WSU, its just a fascinating visual comparison highlighting how very strange i am here.
winter_rogue: (xander doo-med)
Took my final today, now I have to wait until monday I think to see my grades for the semester. Crossing my fingers that i somehow miraculously pull out with two Cs and can remain in school. If not, it's expulsion and I'm not entirely sure what to do from there. I already signed another yr on my lease and there's no way in hell I tell my parents that I managed to flunk out of university.

Not going to think about it, I'm going to cling to the illusion that maybe my proffs will give me C's.
winter_rogue: (xander doo-med)
Starring at the rough outline for a Reinstatement Essay. fml. how did I come to this?

I have litterally squandered the last 12 months of my life on online gaming. And now, my academic gps in ribbons, literally thousands of dollars frittered on classes I never attended, and my position at the college hangs by a tenuous thread. Melodramitic perhaps, but no less true.

Semester starts tomorrow, I am officially enrolled in 1 class, though I'm not technically eligible for any classes, and I have to take my reinstatement workshop and hope they let me continue for spring semester. I also will have to convince 4(?) professors to let me drop into their classes. FinAid informed me that there's no way for me to bring up my GPA enough by the end of Spring to be eligible to renew my scholarship (doesn't mean I don't fully intend on class-loading this semester and proving the suits wrong >.> because I pulled 23 quarter credits at a 3.9 out of my ass before).

And here I am, blogging instead of working on the essay itself. It's like the sight of a word document freezes all the air in my body, shuts down my minimally functioning brain and inspires me to present amazing symptoms of ADD.
winter_rogue: (xander doo-med)
So yesterday I met with my academic advisor for the first time, super nice lady, super cool! reaffirmed how I should stick with wsu because my program really is cool. My official transcripts from SPSCC arrived as well though I am still waiting for the admissions office to lift my hold on registration. Much fear and trepidation concerning this. Though, if everything does go to shit and they pull my admissions I guess I will just finangle some online classes from my community college, finish my AA and reapply for next year. >.> the lengths to which i complicate my own life are astounding.

On another note, I've been devouring Merlin fic like an insane hungry thing. I went through a brief (6 month?) period of Dean/Castiel reading back during season 4/parts of 5 of SPN but otherwise have remained rather fandom free since SGA ended. There's quite a lot of delicious fic out there. Possibly I will make a delicious site for my own edification lol.

A few things though have triggered a knee jerk reaction in me (there are certain types of change, for example, that cause me MUCH anxiety). Namely, that it feels like after a healthy 1-2yrs of Merlin fandom, quite a few of the people (who I've followed in Stargate, semi-spin and now Merlin) seemed to have dropped completely and inexplicably out of the fandom after season 2ish? A part of me wonders, because after the first couple episodes of s1 I didn't follow it till after s3 was already airing, was there a big gap between airing seasons 2 and 3? was there a large fandom backlash to how things played out in season 2? It puzzles me exceedingly. And makes me increasingly sad, because I have this terrible habit of jumping on a fandom train during the last leg of it's journey (ie Buffy, Angel, SPN). I think SGA was one of the few I was onboard with from, if not the beginning, close to the beginning (Rodney McKay will remain one of my favorite things to happen, ever, forever)

Second knee jerk reaction-- Dreamwidth. It somewhat mystifies me why so many people moved over there. I mean, yes, there are no adds, but the adds on livejournal really arent that horrible. And almost everyone who posts over there still crossposts to livejournal anyways. And the people who don't fill me with minor flutterings of dread because there could be things I'm missing, awesome nuggets of awesomeness and I wouldn't even know. >.> I might have to get an account just to calm the little voice in my head that cries at people changing. Dreamwidth reminds me a bit of when GreatestJournal came out except how no one actually transferred to greatest journal and the movement died a quiet death.

And on the creative front...

I have not made icons /facepalm but I will. I always feel inspired to work on art when I'm sitting in the CUB bored to death but I don't have photoshop on my laptop. And I've been rather tired by the time I get home so all I feel like doing is curling up under the comforter with my laptop. It's a vicious cycle.

I have this notion for a sweeping epic Merlin fic inspired by Atonement. The scope of the idea, however, terrifies me. I wish I could have little, sweet fic ideas to cut my teeth on, instead of epics. /sigh

I need to get a job.


Dec. 7th, 2010 06:43 am
winter_rogue: (SGA- Vegas- Alone winter_rogue)
Well the semester is drawing to a close. I have a distinct and sinking feeling that I will be found academically deficient and put on suspension next semester thanks to my lackluster performance (what does 'go to class' mean again?). I'm still waiting for community college to send in my "final transcripts" so I can get one of my registration holds lifted before literally ALL the classes for my minor fill up. Next week is finals... I'm not really apprehensive, I will start studying this week/weekend. I just really need to do well on my Polysci and CrmJ finals, if I do that I might sneak by with Cs in both classes. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Blah. I'll just have to sleep in the bed I've made.

The apartment desperately needs a good scrubbing. I went through the other morning like a crazy person and threw away I don't know how many bags of crap. I wonder how I manage to collect all this shit, it boggles the mind. I really want to give everything a proper cleaning though, I hate the place being dirty but at the same time I really really detest cleaning >.> but I want it clean before I decorate for Christmas, and I want to decorate for Christmas god damnit. It is sad enough that I didn't for Halloween :(

The boots I ordered last week should be arriving today. I've been in desperate need of a pair since before thanksgiving. It's now on the third week of solid snow and my poor little converse simply do not get the job done (go figure!). Hopefully these new boots will fit, otherwise I might cry a little.

Stole a recipe idea from starbucks for breakfast this morning: whole grain tortilla filled with egg, mushrooms and feta cheese. It was very delicious. It was a nightmare last night, I spent about twice as much as I usually do on groceries buying supplies to make pot pie and mulled wine -.- and I still forgot the chicken! and a book of stamps so I will have to trudge out to the store again. It wouldn't be so bad except the busses really only cater to getting a person to school, not much of anywhere else.

Today I need to possibly meet with my advisor (thought I think I will put that off until tomorrow) and I was thinking I should play around in photoshop a little more, possibly wrangle a real batch of icons together. We shall see.

Oh hai....

Jul. 26th, 2009 03:21 pm
winter_rogue: (xander doo-med)
i'm not dead, now that anyone reads this but i put it down for myself.

i am not dead.

school and work are insane this quarter and i'm only just about to really hit my stride for it (we're talking, about to pick up 16 more hrs of in class time/week in addition to what i'm already doing)

i havent been up to much, honestly, besides school and work...doing some sketching, a little painting, working on knitting a baby cardigan for my expecting sister, writing not much of anything (i think i've manage about 500 words of Big Band so far this month OOPS) and i need to go work on homework actually so i dont see that changing but who knows right?

made it up the wall (yes yes, easy peasy 5.5 but still it was a triumph for little old me) at AlpineEx to the cheers of my friends. found a great little yoga studio i really need to start going to regularly and have had absolutely no time to go kayaking *cries* but i comfort myself with the notion that i just have to hold out for september.

whats up with you world?
winter_rogue: (daniel-hero-me)
taxes are done and in the mail. same with credit card bills. next on the list: tuition, woot!

dreadfully behind in school work, staring at a rapidly falling Oceanography grade which makes me want to CRY SO BAD considering how hard i've been working this quarter damnit!

sick. dead sick. i came home from work yesterday. had a truncated luncheon with the fam, went to bed around 3pm and didnt wake up (except once briefly for water and more tylenol around 9pm) again until this morning. feel like the shit. achey, nasty nasty cough and so tired i cant stand up but hurt all over too much to lie down anymore. fuck. so glad i got my tuesday shift switched, this gives me a whole two more days to get better before i have to worry about getting someone to cover me

so all caught up on SPN. i have to say i am both loving and hating season 4. loving in that i LOVE Castiel and his whole relationship with Dean but hating it in that i'm left going "what happened to m'boys!!!! why are you lying to each otherz?!" i miss how they were like *twists first and middle finger* this the first two season. i have this horrible horrible feeling in my gut like they're working up to dean having to kill sam or something. it makes all my insides just *hurt* man. plus dean's angst over his time in hell, how is that going to be fixed? hm?

mostly though, all the secrets make me hurt so much. i want to go back to that awful gut-wrenching first season where Dean basically dies and the car in mowed over. that was such clear and perfect pain. non of the murkiness of now. if that makes sense.

still fighting Adobe over refunding me the freaking WRONG platform of CS. grar. they say my case was automatically closed, but does that mean it was closed with a refund in my future or what? i really want my $450 back. i've decided i'm not going to-buy CS, i'll just get the student edition of PS, it's really all i need, i'm not actually looking for a print design job (i like my job yup) so i don't *really* need InDesign. and the extra $250 will come in handy i'm sure.

In final news, i'm torn between going ahead and buying my kayak or maybe keep saving for a new car a couple yrs down the road (like when i'm done with school or there abouts). i've been talking to my dad about getting a nice classic car (maybe a 64/65 Mustang) and taking some shop classes at comm college to learn about taking care of it. it's either that or save for the next 7 yrs and just maybe scrape together enough to buy a mini lol

i was doing a little bit of writing (more like pulling teeth) but thats on the way back burner until i'm all caught up on school and health.
winter_rogue: (xander doo-med)
3/7 pages done. 2 hrs left. easy peasy ;)
winter_rogue: (spuffy kiss winter_rogue)
So i spent the whole weekend in seattle with a friend, living in her dorm and working on my anthro paper and when i wasnt working i let her study and watched SPN and am totally hooked. characters are everything to me, i have to love the characters, their relationships and just *yearn* to see more of them to really stick with a show and omg *SPN* gives me all of that (at the moment, it looks like it will be the show to fill the current stargate void). i've always thought Jensen Ackles was just the hottest thing on the planet and *Dean* is so so .. self sacrificing, and stoic, and dutiful and the end of season 1 just about killed me, when their father is screaming at Sam to shoot him and Dean is lying on the floor dying and blood coming out of everywhere and just barely managing tiny heartbreaking "no sam"s *wibble*


i have barely slept lately (got 3hrs last night and i took a 20-30min nap in my car cause i got back to town a little early) but i feel strangely energized (no doubt the coffee from work haha) i should do hw but that really doesnt sound appealing. i should paint perhaps.
winter_rogue: (daniel-hero-me)
parentals yelling at all hrs of the morning the past two nights = not good sleeping and therefore extreme tiredness. *sigh* and now i've lost my only pencil. whhhhhhy? it was a really nice pencil, sharpened evenly and still have an eraser. i swear i stuck it in my sketchbook at work but its not there anymore.

i have a ton of hw i need to get done but gosh, i just want to fall asleep where i'm sitting. i've been so good about going to bed before 11pm so i get a full nights rest that this is really hitting me badly.

i continue to watch SPN. i love the brother's interaction.
winter_rogue: (john-connect winter_rogue)
Well, so friday i said "Screw you crutches!" and wrapped my ankle and hobbled off to school. luckily lots of people seemed to be skipping sundry 8am classes so i got a better parking spot (marginally, only halfway up the hill vs the top and back a row ;)) and got to both classes and got my midterm from my Oceanography class lab i missed this week (thank GOODNESS) and hobbled off to work where i did resort to sitting down a couple times but it was all good and i made considerably better tips than i have been making so it was definitely worth working (also, Cuz gave me her key since today is her last day so *I finally have a key*!)

now it's saturday. hrmm. i have bits of hw i need to do :

Re: Cut for short weekend to-do list )

I also have bits of creative stuff i'd like to work on. I feel like i might have enough banging around in the back of my head to write another installment of the Mara!McShep au collision, i have the teensy bit of a DW/SGA fusion i want to try my hand at (and which will no doubt turn into a longish monstrous thing i'll have lots of difficulty finishing *sigh*), and i have another AUs collide John Sheppard idea (shut up, Vegas hit me hard. i have yet to move away from it, i need to work through my grief, like a twelve step program) AND i have a gessoed canvas starring at me from across the room begging to be painted to Death Cab for Cutie or Imogen Heap.


Plus, my sister and I are supposed to go grab coffee at some point. hrm

it seems like LJ gets so quiet on the weekend *pokes*
winter_rogue: (Default)
Sometimes i sound so much like Bridget Jones (unintentionally) that i scare myself.

got crutches (and boy, arent those their own pain in the ass) only for it to snow so my mom drove me in to school where we were late for my first class and then before she could let me out at the SUB the campus police started closing off parts of the parking lot. fun eh? so we went back home where i have called/txted everyone at work trying to get someone to cover me and NO one can do it *flail* i left a msg on one girl's machine and she hasn't gotten back to me so *crosses fingers* though i'm not too hopeful. i've got 4 hrs to get someone.

hmm, today i really need to fax in my education verification so i can get my copy of Creative Suit ordered and in the mail ( i need it by monday WAH).

think i shall go check up on [ profile] sga_flashfic and see if a new challenge has been posted.
winter_rogue: (jayne-manunafraid-me)
So I'm doing a bunch of research on OTEC for my Oceanography class. it's very interesting. the sort of super condescend version is that they take temperature differences between different water depths near the equator and use them to power a big steam engine that creates electrical output or work.

i looked up Rankine Cycle (which is the type of heat engine utilized for OTEC) and found it under "classical steam engine" which of course brought to mind these this delightful doodles by [ profile] tardis80 and sparked an instant urge to write steampunk. gosh darn school! i have no time for this.
winter_rogue: (Default)
I've finish 2/3 research essays for Oceanography for this week (all due by wednesday night). i'm very proud, this second one was quite difficult to find a topic for.

in Anthropology news, our term paper requires us to study a culture or subculture with which we are not affiliated and actually do *field work*. i feel vageuly daunted because i'm not good in social situations where i dont know anyone (obviously, anthropological work probably isnt for me -_-) but i think i have a topic (ie subculture group) that might be feasible and not too painful. i'm thinking i'll study college resident hall residents and go spend a couple nights with M at university. i can come up a couple pretty convincing arguments that they really are their own subculture so *crosses fingers*

must now fly to work. AGGG, never a moment of spare time.
winter_rogue: (scully-widesky-me)
So, I failed Ceramics class of all classes. go figure.

what about you?
winter_rogue: (rodney/teyla-gotyourback-me)
and jeez, finance is some seriously complicated shit. the equations are monstrous with variables floating around all over the place and its sort of ... *blink* i think i want those happy problems where i just ad to find the rate at which stuff was falling or the position of a particle moving at a certain point in time *sigh*

i'm so going to fail ceramics. *shame*

ugg, annuity, why much you be so so so *shakes sad little fist*
winter_rogue: (jayne-manunafraid-me)
I might break and buy Adobe Creative Suite before I buy a kayak. I knoooooow i've been saving up my tips for like three months now for a kayak and i almost have $700 (i'm thinking that i'll need 750-900 depending on the cost of the roof rack i need for the Kia) but omg, i want CS, well specifically i want photoshop but i figure one day i'll probably need inDesign and i know i could use Dreamweaver and Flash now so i might as well buy them altogether so i only have to pay for a [significantly cheaper] upgrade a few years down the road.


tips were SO BAD this week. i barely made $45 probably. hopefully i'll hit a little more than $60 after tomorrows shift since last sunday Cuz and i did much better than weekdays. payday not for another week almost. i guess its a good thing i had to return the boots.

i think i'm going to have to give up eating out and buying coffee every day. and buying dinner at work. i'd probably save, gosh, $45-60 a weak if i did that. then i could probably afford CS and a kayak at the same time. *sigh* being responsible. why am i always reminded to buy stocks on the weekend when the market is closed? *rolls eyes at self*

I have a plan for sure to get caught back up on NaNo. we'll see how well it works though since 3/4 days i have to implement it are workdays *eeps*

must remember to make essay corrections tomorrow for monday.

Stargate Atlantis was interesting today. esp like the end with Rodney. and the beginning with jealous!rodney. and the part in the middle with befuddled!rodney. and sad beaten down/whumped john was very sweet and heart breaking to watch as well. pretty good ep all around. i started rewatching s.5 but stopped because i havent quite recovered from watching The Shrine the first time.

so in summary, want CS so can make SGA icon prettiness *sigh* so so so bad out of practice.
winter_rogue: (rodney/teyla-gotyourback-me)
I just want to register damnit.

So, i very foolishly listened to my freshman advisor when i registered for summer quarter and NOW I"M TOTALLY AND TRULY FUCKED. I'm in the completely wrong math track and this math proff i emailed says i have to go back and take MATH 140, 141 and 142 when i'm totally qualified to be in math 142 THIS quarter *crycrycry* I'm so frustrated. and i cant register for classes until my bloody cont-student-advisor gives me my PIN number and i couldnt find her office on advising day *which i didnt want to go to because she was talking about getting an Associate of Business DT which i DONT WANT* and i already have all my classes picked out and scheduled.

this thing is, i can read a schedule, its not hard. it *really isnt* i dont need to talk to anymore advisors who dont understand how i think and what sort of degree i want when *I* dont know what degree specifically i want. i want to keep it open, take some classes, find out what i'm good at. i dont want to get locked into a degree program right now. GRAR. and thats exactly what they've done.

Pisses me off. Now i've got 10 credits i dont need. ARG

I am NOT cooling my heels in math 140, it would be such a waste of fucking time. I took calculus and self taught myself Linear Alg in High School, i really dont need to take fucking College Algebra.

And my show is still cancelled.

Nano please come already, i need something else to distract myself with.

Day Four

Jun. 27th, 2008 10:02 am
winter_rogue: (jayne-manunafraid-me)
So, this week has been crazy.

School started monday and i had my first day of work that evening. busy busy busy.

yesterday i went to go to class and my car wouldnt run right so i had to miss class and beg a ride off M from across town. it was terrible. i had to go in at 2pm to work and i figured i'd be able to get a hold of my sister (i had talked to her early yesterday morning) but i couldnt get her at home or on her cell, it was insane. i'll need to do something really nice to pay her back.

work is crazy. so much to learn, so fast paced. you're constantly moving and multitasking etc but i think i'm improving a lot. today will be my fourth day working on the job. i think i'm' gonna end up with like 27.5 hrs this week so woo hoo.

hope everyone is having an awesome, warm, sunny summer!
winter_rogue: (Default)
GAH, 73 notecards (2 of them just pg numbers to a whole gaggle of facts i didnt feel like writing down) from 9 sources. I feel like if i have to do anything more tonight my head is going to explode but i STILL have to watch U-571 and then actually *write* the darn paper.

i'm going to need a lot more tea.

Update on the job hunt, the number of applications is up to 8 with Walgreens and Coldstone (both 6/03). I'm really starting to get desperate now. Pretty soon i'm going to start sending my resume to people wanting office receptionists -_-


winter_rogue: (Default)

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