Jan. 29th, 2011

Fuck

Jan. 29th, 2011 11:53 pm
winter_rogue: (xander doo-med)
Fuck WHY WHY WHY did I let myself get sucked into reading ST:Reboot Kirk/Spock fic??? this is NOT HEALTHY. I say that because Star Trek is the ORIGINAL SHOW that stole my heart and my sensibilities and shaped like my ENTIRE taste in TV/books/movies etc. I remember being... umm 11 if my math is correct, watching Star Trek Voyager (stfu, it's what was current x.x) with my sister (who SO TOTALLY got me hooked on the reruns because she's a dirty addict who wanted someone to be addicted WITH her, bless her heart--I love my sister an unreasonable amount. She's 13 yrs older and we are totally bffs) and making up stories about it in my head and pretending I was a starship captain and shit everything. Wait, ok, possibly this was only helped along by the fact that I was addicted to Space Camp as a very young kid and used to roleplay piloting a ship through re-entry but WHATEVER.

Spock and Kirk. I am a huge fucking cheeseball who totally dug the ToS movies and shit and I havent seen every single episode (my knowledge of the ToS series is spotty, I tended to watch what I consider 'highlight' episodes, the creme of the crop? if you will, sort of like how I watched old old Doctor Who, but anyways) but, still, first loves. Love everywhere. All over the place. I am totally cool with them being like BROTHERS IN ARMS FOR EVAH but then the fucking 2009 movie happened and lfkhgaskgvkjhfg


um.


fuck.


IDEK how much I read today. There was a lot of like, reading and angsting, remembering the horrible sad shit like Wrath of Khan (omg Q.Q I can't watch it, it HURTS too much), and imagining what it must be like for classic!Spock whose whole world is GONE man, fucking GONE, that's NOT HIS JIM KIRK IN SPACE. and JFC I cried so much today and my head hurts and my eyes hurt and it's like a cant stop reading it because Star Trek stole my heart when I was a kid and apparently despite the clusterfuck that was Enterprise (Before Brad Wright, Before SG:Universe, oh yes, there was Enterprise and let me tell you it was a bad break-up, compounded by my sister's even worse breakup with it >.>) apparently there's a some deep down parts of me that it still owns. There's just something about the way the crews fit together, the history they all carry, the weight, the way they embody fraternity that really really hits my kinks(?).

god I am jonesing for a copy of the 2009 movie.

Plus, it's compounded by the fact that I have a srs hard on for Vulcans. those crazy, brilliant, elegant, telepathic, bastards. *sigh* in my childish daydreams, I always wanted to be a vulcan.

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